Funny Stuff and Posting Stuff
by LGLaxfreak98
Summary: Funny Lines I have found in the Fan fictions I read and Stuff you can post on your profile


**Edward** _Emmett_ trial to see if Emmett is an assassin

"**Where were you the day of my wedding?" **_"At your wedding"_ "Where were you after?" _"My apartment" _**"What happen next?"** _"I already told you."_ **"Oh yeah, well um. The bench has no more questions."**

**Rosalie** _Bella_ When Bella acts weird

_Heeheehee8) _**um Bella? U ok?**_Heehee! _**I'm just gonna back away slowly & go get Edward…**_NO! Don't tell EDWARDO! _**Well…1: its Edwerido now, Bells, get w/ the times&2: I'm gonna tell him**_NoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO! _**Y not?**_Cuz he'll b mad_**about?**_Me drinkin Da birdey blood _**HA! I KNEW IT! I'M TELLIN!**

**Edward** _Bella_ _**Carlisle**_ When they get the bird blood out of Bella

**Bella how could u!*cries in agony* **_I had 2 Edwerido… they were all tweety & pretty_**Carlisle do something! She is turning into Emmett! **_**Come on Bella, were gonna go 2 a pretty, squishy white room**____**w/ lost of birdies**__YAY!_

**Emmett **When Jacob hugs Rosalie

**My Rosie senses are tingling! He puts his fingers to his temples &closes his eyes. Then he opens them & exclaims someone is touching my wife! And it isn't me! He runs off to his laptop to try and 'save' Rosalie**.

**Edward** _Mike_ _**Bella**_ When Edward tries to get Bella out of work

"**Hey, Newton!"****I **_**stomped on his foot, hoping I'd get his attention; he didn't even flinch**__**.**_** "**_Cullen?"_** "****You see, it's very rare when I have the house to myself. Can you tell your mother that Bella will work tomorrow instead of today?" **_**Mike looked at me for a whole minute; I heard a low rumble in**____**Edward's chest. I could only imagine what Mike was thinking.**_** "**_Fine Cullen. Tomorrow she's mine."__**Mike grinned cheekily. Oh, no! Wrong move, buddy**_** "****she'll never be yours! She will work****tomorrow, yes****." **_**Then Edward turned to me grinning**_**"I can't wait to get home. I have a surprise for you!" **_**He winked talking entirely too loud**_

Bella When Bella uses the cover of why no Cullens are at school

"So, you didn't go hiking with the rest of them?" asked Bella, keeping up the public appearance. Whatever she may have told Angela, she sure as hell wasn't going to explain the fact that her boyfriend and his family stayed away on sunny days because they glittered.

**Bella** _Alice __**Edward**_ after Bella gets hurt and Edward tells Alice that he likes Bella

"**Hi Alice! Didn't expect you back so soon" **_"Guess not. At least your outfit is semi ok. How's your wrist?"_**"Hurts" **_"MmmHmm, and how's your love life"__**"Alice NO"**_**Everyone came laughing in. "What do you mean?" **_"Are you in love with Edward? 'Cause he's in love with you"_**"No! Think about that one Alice. If I was in love with Edward, would I be going out with Alec on Friday**_?"__"Well, no, but I thought. Because he is in love with you, maybe you were in love with him too?"_

**Emmet **_Bella_ When Bella has a date

"**You've got a date?" Emmet asked out of nowhere. **_"Um, yeah. Remember that guy Alec? He called the other night, and we're gonna go dancing."_**"Cool! When he comes to pick you up, can me and Jasper interrogate him like over protective brothers?" Emmet asked, looking at me expectantly.**

**Edward** _Emmett_ when the Cullens are deciding what to do

"**No, Carlisle. I'm not leaving without Bella" Edward insisted. No-one noticed that Bella and Alice had got into the Ferrari**_.__"Well Bella is leaving without you" Emmet snickered._

Rachael (Bella's daughter) when she sees Bella puking in the toilet

We ran in to the bathroom and saw mommy leaning over the potty

**Emmett **_Esme__**Jasper**_ fighting

"_Emmett! Don't eavesdrop! It's rude!"_**"Oh c'mon, Mom! Like you haven't done it!" **_"There's an exception to every rule." _**"That's not fair." **_"Life isn't fair."__**(Whisper) 'Fight, fight, fight'**_**"Then let's make it fair!" (I said snapping my fingers like those sassy women on TV.) **_"It's not that easy."_**"As they say, life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. See king of comebacks" **_"Ha-ha right what happened if life ruins out of lemons?"_**"It carries extras" **_"What happens if the lemons turn out to be limes? Then everyone is screwed"_**"That's why any smart person checks their lemons, just in case. That's called taking a chance, mother dearest. You should try it sometime" **_"By the way I take plenty of chances like raising you"__**"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH" (I think Jasper should say "o u just got pwned by mommy")**___


End file.
